Away From Me
by LzzyLee
Summary: Post season 3B. Trigger warning. SwanQueen. Villain!Hook. When Hook will not just leave Emma alone, the savior eventually realizes that some battles are just not meant to be fought alone. When Regina is woken by a TFK by someone unexpected, she has some realizations to make. When Storybrooke is encased in ice, how does it all come together?
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

**AN: I made some amendments to Chapter 3, apologies to those I have upset before.**

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN OUAT!**

Chapter 1

_"__The most painful thing in the world is watching somebody you love, love someone else."_

Regina couldn't stand to be in the diner any longer while Robin got reacquainted with his long lost wife. Her heart was being put through the shredder again. It was all _Emma's_ fault! She ruined her chance to love again, and everyone knew it. She walked down the road, knowing exactly what to do.

The forest was wet and lonely tonight. The moon was waning, preparing its full abandonment from the human eye. She moved swiftly through the terrain with no difficulties. Every time she shut her eyes, she flickered between her teenage self and her evil queen self. The past had reared its head mercilessly and had already swallowed her whole. She was merely digesting now. There was no use in sticking around.

Young Prince Neal was asleep. Mary Margaret and David had to leave so he could sleep in his crib for the night. Emma was nursing a mug of hot chocolate and avoiding Hook's attempts to feel up her top with distaste. Despite their earlier make-out session, nothing had changed and she needed to continue turning him down. She felt nothing for him.

"Where'd Mom go?" Henry asked after awhile, oblivious to Hook's advances on his mother.

"She left," Emma sighed. "I'm sorry, kiddo. I messed things up." Henry frowned. He could hardly believe Emma totally screwed up Regina and Robin's relationship. Yet as he glanced over at the strange woman with her husband and child, he sensed that fixing things wouldn't be so easy.

"Maybe it's not so bad," Henry said uncertainly. He opened his book and flipped through it. Emma shook her head and walked out of the diner. She had to apologize to Regina, whether she was listened to or not.

"Hey, you need to leave Emma alone," Ruby said to Hook.

"Or what, you'll eat me?"

"The full moon isn't here, but I can still-"

"Ruby, don't!" Granny snapped. Ruby fell silent and let Hook go after Emma again. She had a bad feeling about this. Her stomach twisted as she remembered his leering gaze on Emma.

She sensed footsteps behind her. Regina turned to see Emma approaching her on the bridge. Her eyes immediately burned with hatred and hurt as she stepped away from the railing. _What had she been doing standing so close to the edge?_

_"__You!"_ she spat out. The fireball was all set to be thrown right at her. She could kill Snow at last and get her revenge like she'd wanted for years. She kept seeing that little girl in front of her, the one who had told her most precious secret to…her _mother_, of all people. "Get away, _I mean it_!" A blast of fiery magic knocked her opponent back several feet out of effort of avoiding the flames, but still the woman continued to approach her.

"I'm sorry," Emma said. "I had no idea who she was."

"You're always sorry, Snow," Regina growled. She plunged her hand into Emma's chest. She tried to yank out Emma's heart, but got thrown to the ground by the woman's magic.

"Your mother tried the same thing and also failed. My magic is stronger than yours." Regina stared up at her, at a total loss. She was heartbroken and needed an outlet.

"What are you going to do…kill me?" she sneered. Emma frowned at this and helped her up. The dark haired woman used that opportunity to hold the blonde over the troll bridge with magic. Emma gasped in shock, kicking her legs and trying to free herself. "Now you die, Snow White…" She released her.

"No!" Henry cried out as he watched his birth mother plummet to the ground. He had somehow gotten over there during all the commotion. He fell to his knees crying. Regina felt satisfied. She finally got her happy ending.

"Emma!" Hook yelled desperately as he ran for the bridge. "Use your magic! I believe in you!" She was already rising up from the brink of death on some rocks and tumbleweeds. He stared, impressed, as she gently landed on the bridge with hardly a scratch on her. Regina stared in shock, not fully registering what had just happened.

"How did you-but I just-"

"Sorry, Regina, looks like I learned a few of your tricks," Emma said calmly. She approached her with no sign of fear. "Whatever happened to making your own destiny? Are you really going to tie yourself to this one man all over a tattoo?"

"I _love_ him!" Regina shrieked in anguish. "Why is that not enough for anyone, for me to just be happy?"

"I don't think you can be happy with a man who is already married."

"She was supposed to be _dead_! He was a widower and now suddenly, he's not, and it's your fault!" She was tempted to fling her off the bridge, but barely managed to resist. The look of horror and worry in Henry's eyes was too much for either mother to bear.

"This isn't over," Regina murmured to Emma as she took Henry with her, leaving Emma alone with Hook on the bridge.

"You're still running," Hook reminded her as she backed up against the railing. "I thought you were going to stay in Storybrooke."

"Not with you, or for you," she replied firmly, though her voice wavered as he closed the distance between them. "Get away from me!" She shoved him right before he leaned in and kissed her. She struggled against him. The smell of rum clogged her windpipe and made her want to gag. It took everything she had to not respond to him in any way. His hand slid up her top and his hook dug into her back. She couldn't breathe or think past maintaining control.

"I…said…get…away!" she said breathlessly, throwing him off of her with all the magic she could gather. She ran off, hoping that the diner was still safe.

The diner was closed. Everyone had left, most likely cozying up at home without a care in the world. Emma headed straight home without looking back. She had to hide somewhere that Hook wouldn't think to check. He was too persistent and she didn't feel safe out here in the open. She used her key to get in and found Mary Margaret in the kitchen making dinner for David. The baby was fast asleep in his crib. She locked the door and sighed in relief, but still didn't let her guard down. She would be wrong not to at a time like this.

"What's wrong, Emma?" David asked as he wrapped an arm around his wife.

"Hook kissed me," Emma said breathlessly.

"You don't seem happy about that," Mary Margaret spoke up. "What happened?"

"You saw the way he kept trying to take off my clothes in the diner; you know what he wants from me!"

"I didn't see him doing anything," David said in confusion. "Maybe you were just overreacting. Look, you should just be happy someone loves you. I know you loved Neal, but he's gone now. It's time to take this opportunity to move on and let someone else into your life."

"Are you kidding me right now!? This has nothing to do with mourning Neal, which by the way, it was real rude of you to bring him up like that, like you'd think I'd be okay with it!" The room felt like it was heating up. Emma's magic was going haywire.

"Hey relax, it's okay Emma. You need to sit down before you set one of our good chairs on fire." Emma fell onto the couch and sighed. Her parents thought she was_ overreacting _because a smelly pirate who wouldn't take no for an answer assaulted her not more than ten minutes ago. The whole thing was ridiculous, and she regretted bringing it up in the first place. She ran a hand through her tangled hair and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. She had to get the sensation of pirate off her body. That cold hook made her shudder with disgust and apprehension. She hoped he learned to stay away now.

"Is she okay?" Mary Margaret asked softly after she was gone.

"She'll be fine," David assured her. "She just needs some sleep and everything will be fine in the morning."

"She looked real freaked out. David, I don't think we should have written off her feelings like that so quickly."

"So what if she got kissed? What's there to complain about?"

"She didn't _want_ it, David, that's the problem. I don't know about you, but it looks like Hook assaulted Emma. We should talk to him." David gave her a look.

"Whoa, now you're blaming him for this?" he asked incredulously. "What's gotten into you? This isn't his fault. We all know Emma has a hard time trusting people. She needs a little time, and I'm sure Hook can give her that." Mary Margaret shook her head, knowing that anything she said wouldn't make a difference. Maybe he had a point. Hook wouldn't do anything to hurt Emma anyways. Everyone knew that.

Hot water slowly pulled through the knots from dancing at that ball and running around the Enchanted Forest for days. Emma sighed painfully, wishing she had someone who loved her. She was personally jealous of Rumplestiltskin and Belle. They had been through hell and back, and they got married. Deep down, she wanted that happy ending too. It wasn't meant to be with Captain Hook.

_"__The only one who saves me is me."_

She had meant what she said at that moment.

_"__You traded your ship for me?"_

That was a moment of stupidity and weakness, and she couldn't believe that in the end, she was just like every other girl she swore to not turn into.

Regina paced in her bedroom as she thought of the moment she had thrown Emma off the bridge. Not long ago, she had fallen off an entirely different bridge and she had felt…_something_, but she had brushed it off as mere concern. That pull had happened again tonight. She didn't want to feel it. She loved Robin; he was the one for her. Tinkerbell said pixie dust didn't lie.

_Emma could have died…_

_It would have been my fault._

"She ruined my life," she stated fiercely. "I'll get you, Snow White!"

_"__I didn't want you to lose your mom like I lost mine."_

That innocent little girl peeked out at her from decades of pain and mourning. Her younger self stood there wishing she could wring the girl's neck right then and there.

_"__I'll destroy your happiness, if it is the last thing I do."_

Her heart twisted in betrayal and confusion as she remembered Emma's horror stricken face yet again. She recalled a flash of silver. What had Captain Hook been doing there? That made no sense. She shut her eyes and thought harder. His eyes had been following Emma's form in a way that didn't feel right by all accounts. It could have been just a onetime thing. She brushed it off and focused on getting revenge.

"Mom, why are you so mad at Emma? Didn't you only just meet that guy?" Regina barely heard her son as she gazed into her mirror, making an apple appear in her hand. She would put Emma to sleep. That would do the trick. Nobody had the power to save the savior.

"Mom, what are you doing with that apple?" Henry asked.

"Nothing," Regina said softly. "It's past your bedtime, Henry."

"Is that apple poisoned?"

"Of course not, Henry, don't be ridiculous."

"Then eat it," he said. Regina rolled her eyes and took a large bite of the apple. Everything went dark.

After scrubbing her skin raw, she finally felt free of Hook. Emma was toweling off her hair when there was a rapid knock at the door. She sighed, hoping to God it wasn't him after all this effort she went through to clean herself of him.

"Can you get the door, Dad?" Emma yelled as she reached for one of her tops. If it really was Hook, she didn't want him seeing her, especially like this. Her cheeks flushed in shame as she remembered how she had to resist, not just physically, but emotionally too. The door opened as she yanked on some clothes rather carelessly. She didn't bother brushing out her hair or even drying herself. She was that desperate to make herself unappealing to Hook.

"Whoa slow down Henry, who got poisoned?" David asked. Emma paused in the bathroom doorway as she tried to eavesdrop.

"…in a sleeping curse!" Henry was saying as Emma finally came into the living room. "I already tried to get Robin to wake her up and nothing happened." David sighed.

"Okay, there's got to be another way."

"There is no other way," Emma said softly. "True love's kiss is the only way we can wake her up."

"But if Robin isn't her true love, then…" Henry trailed off. "Then we're stuck."

"Maybe not, kid. Did you try waking her?"

"Yeah, Emma, but she's still sleeping." Emma sighed.

"Let's go see her. There's probably a spell book lying around with instructions."

_You ruin lives. You're so evil. This is your fault. Nobody would miss you. There is nobody to wake you up. You'll just sleep forever. This fate is better for everyone. You deserve this. Just sleep, dream and re-dream all your life's regrets. Even Daniel wouldn't take you back at this point. You've gone past the point of redemption._

_You're so evil. This is your fault. Nobody would miss you._

_Nobody can wake you up._

"There's got to be something!" Henry cried out as Emma frantically searched the bookshelves. They had already gone through most of the vault last night, but found nothing.

"Relax, go get some sleep. I'll see if Rumplestiltskin knows anything." Henry went to the couch and promptly fell asleep. He had been stressing out all night, and he was too young to be doing that. Finally, Emma sat by Regina on the floor and just held her hand.

"What am I going to do if I can't get you to wake up? Henry doesn't want things to end like this. He knows there's a way. All your spell books say the same thing, though. The easiest way to break this curse is a true love's kiss. If Robin isn't your true love, then who is? We all know Daniel is gone. Haven't you two moved on, during the brief time you saw him again?" She sighed softly, starting to get real tired.

"Regina…" The woman didn't even stir. Emma knelt down and kissed her on the forehead. A wave of energy pulsed outward. Her eyes flew open.

"Emma," Regina whispered in shock. "How can you…how could you…how-?"

"I-I'm sorry!" Emma stuttered. She scrambled to her feet and ran out of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

Chapter 2

_"__Now it's too late, it's taking over me, it feels so supernatural."_

Henry stirred and was happy to see Regina was awake and walking around like nothing had happened. "Yay! Emma broke the curse!" he cried out cheerfully. "How did she do it, Mom? We spent hours looking for another way besides true love's kiss."

"I don't know," Regina lied. "Get dressed. I'm going to make us some breakfast." As soon as he was gone, she slowly headed into the kitchen. She clearly remembered the feeling of Emma's lips on her forehead. There had to be some kind of mistake. Emma couldn't be her true love. That was Robin.

_"__I don't think you can be happy with a man who is already married." _That was a personal slap in the face from Emma. She couldn't believe the woman could actually be right. There was no room in that family for her. She didn't want to let go of it though. Regina pulled out the frying pan and tried not to think of the warmth that somehow remained inside her when she had been brought out of the curse.

"Magic can be wrong…" That was what she tried to convince herself of, anyways.

"Emma," Mary Margaret called from the kitchen. "Breakfast is ready!" Neal woke up wailing in his crib. David was quick to pick him up and try to rock him to sleep. The baby hadn't slept very much.

"I'm not hungry," Emma replied softly, knowing nobody could hear her. She sat there in her bed and wished last night could be erased from her memory. She knew she should face the day eventually. Doing that, though, meant admitting the assault actually happened and the problem of Hook's obsession with owning her wasn't about to go away on its own. Sitting her in her PJs kept her safe from the memory of _kissing_ Mayor Mills, the horror left her blushing with mortification. Nobody in this town would be pleased to learn about that. It wasn't any kiss, but a true love's kiss to break a curse. How is that possible? Wasn't Regina technically her step-grandmother through a forced marriage that was scarcely acknowledged, besides anyone but Cora? They were, most definitely related in a distant sense, if she were going by that train of thinking.

"It's wrong," Emma whispered to herself. She thought about the kiss anyways. A light knock shook the memory to the background. She shifted gears and forced a weak smile as her mother entered the room.

"Emma, breakfast is ready. Did you hear me?"

"Yeah, I heard you. I'm just not fully awake yet." That much was the truth. She had barely slept in the first place trying to help Regina, leaving her unable to fully function. Her brain was in a fog centering around Captain Hook and Regina Mills.

"About last night," Mary Margaret said hesitantly. "Your father and I discussed it and we are both sorry that we didn't listen to you. But we're listening now and you can tell us again what happened, okay?"

"It wasn't that big of a deal," the savior dismissed emotionlessly. "It was just a kiss I didn't ask for."

"If Hook is becoming a problem, David can have him arrested for assault." Emma sighed as she remembered having done the same exact thing not too long ago, before she had been forced to get her memories back. _It's just Killian, he wouldn't hurt me_; she had rationalized at the time. She still felt the need to defend his actions for some reason, like she should have some sort of responsibility or blame. That was wrong, wasn't it?

"I really doubt he'll stay in jail all that long."

"I'm just trying to help." Emma sighed and climbed out of bed to go find something to wear. She settled for a simple flannel and a pair of jeans with some boots. She felt comfortable in outfits like this. Regina could get as flashy as she liked, but Emma preferred the comfort of clothes that worked well for being on the run.

Hook was wandering the street, pacing disturbingly closer and closer to the apartment he knew Emma lived in. He was startled by Ruby's presence when he turned at the edge of the forest. He was tempted to make a crude comment, but considered himself a gentleman for resisting the urge.

"What do you think you're doing, stalking Emma like that?" Ruby demanded. "You're such a creep."

"I'm not stalking her, you idiot. I'm just taking a walk, oh such a crime. Arrest me, then."

"Need I remind you that I have the ability to cha-"

"To what?" Hook laughed as he grabbed her wrist before the punch could reach his face. "You're pathetic, Ruby, and everyone knows it. I wouldn't waste my time on you if I was sober." Ruby spat in his face.

"You'll be sorry you did that," he breathed in her ear before turning away from her. She tackled him. Hook flung her to the ground and pinned her to the road with his boot.

"Neal is dead, so she's mine now," he said calmly as Ruby began to struggle. "I don't know what's so hard to comprehend about that." Ruby yanked his foot and caused him to lose his balance.

"You're a pig!" she scoffed.

"Am I?" he said in an amused tone. He stood some distance from the now upright werewolf. "Says the town freak; you smell like wet dog."

"And you smell of stale rum," she responded snidely in his face. "You should back off before you regret ever messing with Emma."

"She kissed me last night!" Hook exclaimed. "There is no arguing that she feels something." Ruby shook her head and started to walk away. He yanked her back with his hook, tearing a hole in her top. She gasped at the cold air grazing her exposed skin.

"We're not finished here. Why are you trying to keep me away from Emma?"

"You are a danger to her," Ruby said breathlessly. She was starting to fear Hook, but refused to show it in her eyes. "I'm just trying to protect her."

"I think you're jealous, dog." He threw her aside and stalked off into the night, leaving a shaken Ruby standing in the street all alone.

Mary Margaret switched on the radio and danced with David while their son slept peacefully in his crib and Emma finished up the dishes.

_You illuminate me  
You're the color I see  
You're all that shines above  
Through the dark and mistrust_

"I love this song," Mary said softly as David swayed them back and forth. Emma began to tear up at the song already, feeling something strange that she hadn't experienced in years.

_All the doubt in your eyes  
All the stars in the night  
Is it the distance you need  
Or is it just me?_

_I know you're awake  
'cause you shake when you cry  
As long as I wait,  
I've got nothing but time_

_Take me in, or just take me out  
Put me on if you must, or just put me down  
'cause I'm done, I'm all worn out  
We're either alive or a lie  
I'm done with the middle ground_

David kissed Mary Margaret, causing her to blush and smile at him. Emma felt the tears spill over. Her emotions cracked the dam protecting herself. She broke down into quiet sobs, not sure what the feeling was or where it was coming from.

_You're the wind at my back  
You're the courage I lack  
But you live your life like a war  
What are you fighting for?_

_Your touch is the water  
That gives and takes away  
So I wait in the gutter  
For another rainy day_

_Take me in, or just take me out  
Put me on if you must, or just put me down  
'cause I'm done, I'm all worn out  
We're either alive or a lie  
I'm done with the middle ground_

_You close your eyes to see the sun  
And all the things you've never done  
They all come out in the dark  
And once again just break your heart_

"Emma?" Mary Margaret called as the blonde got to her feet. "Where are you going?" Emma ran out of the house before anyone was able to get a reply out of her.

_I know you're awake  
'cause you shake when you cry  
I'll hold you, I'll hold you  
But you've got to decide_

_Take me in, or just take me out  
Put me on if you must, or just put me down  
'cause I'm done, I'm all worn out  
We're either alive or a lie, oh  
We're either alive or a lie  
I'm done with the middle ground_

_I'm done with the middle ground  
I'm done with the middle ground  
Done with the middle ground_

_I'm done with the middle ground  
I'm done with the middle ground_

"Regina!" Emma yelled as she rushed down the street. She passed by a skulking black figure. Hook. She ignored him and kept running. Regina's house was in sight. She threw out her hands and cast a spell that forced the front door open. Regina paused and set down her fork as she stared at Emma in shock.

"You know, knocking is still a thing," the mayor said. "What are you doing here?" Emma spotted Robin teaching Henry how to use his bow and arrow. Young Roland was in Regina's lap. Emma faltered, losing what confidence remained. She shouldn't care about any of this. All she could do was stand there as Regina abandoned her mostly unfinished breakfast.

"Well?" Regina demanded as she approached her. "What is so important?" Emma struggled to piece her shattered thoughts together. "Am I going to have to force it out of you? Spit it out, Miss Swan!"

"I'm sorry," the savior finally choked out.

"Hey, thanks for letting us stay here for a couple hours," Robin thanked Regina. "Marian found us a new place to stay that just opened up, so we'll head over there." He picked up Roland and left the house. Henry finally noticed Emma, but she just shook her head and gestured for him to head to his room. He shrugged and obeyed the order.

"Now we can talk," Regina said, slightly annoyed. "What do you have to say?"

"About that kiss," Emma said slowly. "It was a mistake. There's no way there is anything between us." There was an odd hesitation in the dark haired woman standing before her.

"I can agree on that, Em-Miss Swan. Now if you don't mind, I have a town to take care of, and you are getting in my way." She sighed in relief and left the house at last. The weight on her chest did not lift. Her heart was still twisted in a mass of confusion. It would pass eventually, she reasoned. The second she was outside, she was cornered by Hook.

"Oh there you are, Swan," he said pleasantly. "Let's have breakfast at Granny's." He took her by the hand and led her away. Emma felt like she had no choice in the matter. He was still completely convinced that they were both in love. When they entered the diner, she found it odd that Ruby wasn't there.

"Where's Ruby?" Emma asked suspiciously. "And Granny for that matter…what's going on? Why did you really bring me here?" He sat her down in a booth then sat across from her. She felt her heart rate skyrocket as he held her hand again. She had to get out of here. Emma eyed his hook and came up with a plan.

"I thought we could use the alone time to get to know one another better," he said pleasantly. "There's so much I don't know about you, Emma."

"Well, for starters," Emma said quietly. "I was wondering why you never asked Whale to give you a prosthetic hand."

"I happen to like this hook," he replied with obvious hurt in his voice. "What's wrong with the hook?"

"Oh nothing…" Emma took it gently. Then she yanked it off and threw it across the room. While he was distracted, she escaped the diner. She didn't stop running until she was at the docks, breathing heavily. Hook was becoming a serious problem, and she needed to handle it before things got out of control.

"What did Emma want?" Henry asked as he got ready for school. While Mary Margaret took care of Neal during the first several months of his life, he would have a substitute teacher. He didn't know who the person was yet, but he was excited to find out.

"Nothing," Regina responded. "She was just being a nuisance." She couldn't get the look in Emma's eyes out of her head when she had seen Robin. It was something akin to…jealousy. The weather was steadily getting colder, even though it was summer. The mayor was very annoyed by this and hoped Emma hadn't gone and done something stupid. Satisfied by the distraction, she pulled on her coat before leaving the house with her son. She thought she saw a flash of light blue and blonde as she checked the mail a few minutes later.

"I can't wait to meet the substitute teacher," Henry said excitedly. "I wonder if she'll be pretty like Mrs-"

"The teacher could be a man for all you know."

"Oh yeah. I forgot."

"Have a good day at school, Henry," Regina said as the bus arrived. The clouds had gathered so much in the sky that the sun was no longer visible. If the trend continued, they would be getting snow in the middle of June. Why they were having a winter in the middle of summer was baffling more than anything. Emma didn't have this kind of power yet, so she could hardly blame the woman. However, she was responsible for something. She headed down the street in the direction of her office, prepared to work, when suddenly, she ran smack into the woman she had desperately been trying not to think about with zero success.

"Watch it, Emma!" Regina snapped.

"I'm sorry!" Emma squeaked out. She appeared to be…frightened, or worried perhaps. She ignored this. She didn't have time for the savior's petty problems.

"I swear, you're more like your mother than you will ever know." Emma shivered and got out of Regina's way. Regina was surprised by the woman's lack of retaliation. Maybe something was wrong. _Why am I so worried about the woman who ruined my life?_ She did her best to shake off the sinking feeling in her gut as she walked away.

"Wait," Emma said softly, but Regina was already gone. Good riddance, possibly. She was about to ask for help, something that she hardly, if ever, bothered attempting with anyone. It was her problem anyways. "I'll figure it out on my own then. Its fine," she said to herself as she started back for Mary Margaret's apartment. When she entered the place, Neal was wailing his head off and her parents weren't in sight.

"Mom? Dad?" No answer. She went to the crib and picked up her baby brother. It didn't take long to check what was bothering him. She changed him and put him down for a nap before taking out her gun. "Mom?" The silence was unnatural. If she didn't know better, she would say the apartment itself was getting colder by the minute. The door slammed shut behind her. She tried to pull it open. "Locked!" she cried out. Ice crept over the windows. "Somebody get me out!" Her magic was being depleted all too rapidly, leaving her completely trapped. There was a note on the counter. She ran to retrieve it.

_Emma 8:15 am_

_Went to get diapers for your brother. Will be back in ten. Love you!_

_Mom and Dad_

It was currently almost nine. Something held them up. Or maybe someone. Emma shivered and put away her gun. It was getting way too cold in here. She had a feeling that there was a new enemy somewhere nearby causing all this to happen. She needed to escape. Emma located a crowbar and was about to heave it at the window when the door opened. Mary Margaret came into the room with a bag of groceries in her arms.

"Emma, what are you doing?" she exclaimed. She let the crowbar fall to the floor as she ran to hug her mother.

"I was locked in here!" she said breathlessly. "I thought something happened to you and Dad when I noticed how long you guys had been gone!"

"Relax, everything is okay. David and I got in an accident."

"What?"

"We skidded for a minute on the road. Luckily we didn't get hurt. There's ice out there."

"But it's June, how is that possible?"

"I don't know, but we need to turn up the heat before Neal freezes to death." Emma sighed and went over to the thermostat. It wasn't long before the apartment started feeling nice and warm. Outside, the temperature continued to drop. Although it wasn't nearly cold enough for ice and snow, it was getting unseasonably cool, and the air held a winter bite that kept even the dwarves indoors. Someone was sending Storybrooke into an early winter.

"This will get their attention…"

"Isn't it too soon?"

"Of course not. I enjoy this."

"I wouldn't doubt it."

"Where does your little class think you are?"

"They are taking a test, so they are paying no attention to my whereabouts."

"Henry will figure out your disguise eventually."

"I'm counting on it."

"Why is that?"

"We're going to trap him to lure Regina out into the open."

"I like the way you think."

"That's exactly why you're working for me now." There was a silence as the two women went their separate ways. The blonde kept her face hidden as she worked hard at the powerful spell, but the raven haired lady didn't bother to hide. She had no fear of getting caught. She tapped at her emerald pendant before entering the classroom with a secretive smile on her face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

**AN: Okay so I took out a certain scene along with everything that happened afterwards to bring this back down to an M rating.**

Chapter 3

_"__You're not a villain. You're my mom."- Henry Mills_

**55. **

"Emma, stop staring at the thermometer. It's not going to make it rise any higher." She turned and saw Ruby smirking at her.

"God, where've you _been_?" Emma exclaimed. "I was so worried."

"I got held up. I'm fine, really." They were just outside of Granny's diner bundled up for the ever dropping temperature.

"No you're not, Ruby. Tell me what happened. You look like you saw the devil."

"You know," she said softly.

"Why would he go after you, of all people?"

"He doesn't want any opposition, Emma. You know that more than anyone. Please be careful. He's starting to become dangerous. I don't want Hook to hurt you."

"I can protect myself. I don't need anyone." _Liar, you know you need someone._ The voice in her head sounded remarkably like Regina. She gritted her teeth and let out a breath, then turned to head back home. She had been wandering these streets of Storybrooke so aimlessly for a few hours today in her efforts to avoid Hook's leering gazes in her head. Her breath picked up in speed as she sensed a shadow nearby. She walked faster. The clomping footsteps managed to get closer. Emma broke out into a run as she felt someone make a grab for her and miss by less than an inch.

"I can protect you!" Hook yelled after her retreating form. "You don't have to be afraid!" Emma felt like her heart would rupture right in her chest.

"You can't—" His arm snaked around her waist. "You need to leave me ALONE!"

"Then stop running away from me," Hook said breathlessly as he turned her around. He lifted her chin so she was forced to look into his dark, possessive eyes. _Why on earth did I ever find this attractive? I'm afraid of him._ She looked around. They were just a few blocks from the diner. Emma could see Ruby enter Granny's, seeming to be clueless about what was going on. The streets were empty because it was so cold out. Emma pulled away from Hook and faced him without showing an ounce of fear in her face.

"You forgot, Miss Swan that I happen to have a hook." She gasped in pain as he stabbed her in the thigh. While she was distracted by the pain, he dug his hook into the skin of her back and yanked her closer. Too close. She couldn't breathe. She could feel that he was hard beneath his jeans, but something told her that this was about a whole lot more than a simple quickie in the street.

"I like…my women…nice and quiet," Hook said in her face as he slapped some duct tape over her mouth. "You can do that right? Just shut your big mouth." He started to unbutton her jeans and push her out of the road. Emma struggled to focus on her magic and think of a spell that would take care of him, but came up with nothing. Her mind had shorted out.

"How do you like that, huh?" The smug laughter was too much to handle. Her shaky hands struggled to throw him off. She only succeeded for a few moments before he latched himself onto her again, and then yanked her into the motel.

"Room for two, please, Granny," Hook said pleasantly as he held his hand over Emma's taped mouth. Emma shook her head violently and pleaded for the elderly woman to see sense.

"What the hell are you doing with her?" Granny asked suspiciously.

"I'm surprising my girlfriend. She thinks I'm insane, but she just hates surprises." Granny stared at them for a long minute as she held the key in her hand.

"Is it necessary to be so forceful for the surprise?" She seemed to know what his plans were. Hook knocked her out with the butt of his gun and snatched up the key with his hook.

"Now we have a room. Walk." He held her at gunpoint and shoved her forward. Emma shakily headed to the room they key depicted. "Now unlock the door." She took the key from him. It didn't take long to head into the small room. Her phone went off. She checked to see who was calling. David. She tore off the tape on her mouth, gasping in pain.

"Answer it," Hook demanded, jabbing the barrel deeper into her back. Her back and leg still ached from where he had stabbed her.

"Hello? Dad?"

"Emma, where are you?"

"Say you're with Regina learning more magic. Now!" She gritted her teeth at the ice cold bite of his weapon of choice.

"I'm…in the woods with Regina," she replied finally. "She's decided to give me a few more magic lessons in case we come across another enemy." Her heart was hammering too loudly in her chest and threatened to swell up further from fear.

"Okay, have fun you two. Tell Regina I said hi." He hung up. Hook threw her phone at the wall. Emma wanted to run from the room, but that godawful gun just had to be in her way. She needed to get out of this somehow. No windows. No day or night or time. She was being pulled to the bed. He was placing unwanted kisses on her neck. She was kicking him in the gut. He was stabbing her in the stomach with his hook. She was bleeding and trying not to cry out in pain. He was pinning her down. His shirt was on the floor, he was more ready than she would ever be for such a thing. She struggled harder than ever, but he refused to go away. As her phone rang again, he…everything faded into a numb stupor after that.

Nothing made sense, nothing felt right. It all tore and twisted and shrieked without making a sound. She wished she had some sort of choice in the matter. He was never about choice. It was always what he wanted, though he claimed this was all for her. He wasn't fooling anyone with that 'changed man' crap that he spewed all over Storybrooke. The second Emma found out the truth about what happened during the missing year, she had a feeling he should never be trusted. Once a liar, always a liar.

Would this break her or would this save her? It more likely had to be one or the other. She struggled to move or make some sort of sound to take her past the moment she was stuck in. Every single time, waves of pain sharply reminded her of reality. For once, she wished a fairytale could suck her in like a portal. Her phone rang again and again. _The smell wouldn't go away._

"Emma, if you get this, we just want you to know we're worried about you." Her mother.

"Emma, where the hell are you?" Her father.

"Where are you, Mom?" Henry.

"You better pick up your phone." Ruby.

Eternities crawled by disguised as hours. She hadn't realized she had moved at all until she answered the phone.

"Finally! Henry has been worried."

"R…Regina?" Her voice sounded hoarse from screaming and weak from fear. She hated it and definitely hated herself for letting this happen. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Regina, why are you calling me?"

"Your entire family believes you were with me this whole time because you said so. They blame me for your disappearance. Where were you, Miss Swan?" She tried to think past the pain in her body. "You have thirty seconds to come up with some sort of story."

"No…wait," Emma said. "I'm sorry. That I lied, I mean." She sighed shakily. "Please don't…I really don't want to talk about this."

"Where _are_ you?"

"Storybrooke Inn."

"Why?"

"Oh just checking out some rooms, you know…"

"Hook was also missing at the same time. Were you with him?"

"Not by choice," she mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Yes, I was with him. Are we done playing twenty questions?"

"I'm keeping Henry with me until you learn the meaning of priority." _No one wants to know if I'm okay, so I guess it won't matter if I don't tell the truth._ "You screwed up big time today, Miss Swan. We, meaning Gold and I, discovered that you also brought Elsa from the past as well, so not only are you a terrible mother, but you are a liar as well." She simply took all of this in silence. The truth wouldn't change any of this. It was all her fault.

"Who is Elsa?"

"Someone from Gold's past. She's trying to freeze all of Storybrooke, but she can't be acting alone. I suspect Zelena is still around somewhere, giving her orders." _You are a terrible mother._

"Alright. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, we got this under control. You broke the curse. Your usefulness is used up."

"You can't possibly mean that," she said in protest, but she partially believed it herself. "What about our magic lessons?"

"Those were about saving someone. You're always around to save people but when it comes to everything else…" Emma stopped listening. Whatever mild friendship they had was wrecked because she brought back Marian, and now they might as well be back to square one. _The kiss never happened._ _You don't mean anything to these people._ She slipped into unconsciousness, pressing the 'END' button on her cell phone just before she did so.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_"__I make my own destiny."- Regina Mills_

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

Regina scoffed in disgust when she discovered Emma had hung up on her. She set her phone aside and packed up her things to leave her office for the day. She really didn't have time to waste on such a hopeless case.

"Regina?" a voice called. She looked up to see Ruby standing anxiously in the doorway.

"What is it? Did Granny start another grease fire in the kitchen?"

"No. I just thought you knew where Emma was."

"She's at the inn fooling around with that pirate," Regina said flatly.

"Nobody's seen him," Ruby replied with doubt in her voice. "And funny how you know exactly where Emma is, yet you aren't concerned about her." Regina hesitated. Of _course_ she was worried. Emma didn't normally hang up on her like that unless she was angry. She thought it was supposed to be the other way around, given what happened at the diner. Regina still felt rightfully hurt, but for some reason she no longer felt angry, just annoyed at the blonde's irresponsible behavior.

"I am simply irritated with how she's acting right now," she explained with patience that was normally far beyond her. "I may have said some things I shouldn't have."

"Who cares about that right now? It's no secret that Hook went after Emma after Neal's coronation."

"I thought that had been resolved." Regina glanced at the thermometer. **41.** Elsa was being held in prison for now and was quite angry, thus accelerating the speed the temperature was dropping. Her half sister, Zelena, had yet to show herself to the public again. Rumor has it that Henry's substitute teacher had sent in a letter of resignation mere hours ago. Suspicious, but she couldn't very well investigate just yet. It looked like Henry would fall even further behind in his education, unless Mary Margaret found a way to take care of the child and be a teacher at the same time. Then again, the last day of school was supposed to be tomorrow anyways, so maybe things would settle down by then.

"I don't think so," Ruby whispered. "I have such a bad feeling. Regina, can't you trust my judgment this one time? I know we aren't on the best of terms…but this is Emma we're talking about." Regina got to her feet and started out of her office. _That kiss never happened. It never happened. Nobody has to know. It's not written all over your face._ She tried to get the thought out of her mind, but with nothing else to think about on her way to the inn, the confused red flush on her cheeks grew quite obvious.

"Focus," she whispered to herself. "Don't think about it. Just don't think at all." A twist of frustration, followed by unexplained longing. Why was the magical world trying to pair her up with Emma? Pixie dust didn't lie. Maybe Tinker Bell was right at the time, when she was just a girl, but why should she listen now as a grown woman?

_Stop confusing yourself you imbecile. Just check on Emma and get home._

Ruby's discovery of Granny unconscious in the inn completely changed Regina's train of thought. Something had definitely happened here.

"Looks like she was hit with something hard, like a piece of metal. Or a hook…"

"Don't be ridiculous. You said Hook was missing," Regina scoffed.

"At the time I reported that to you, yes." Ruby checked the keys. One was missing. "Room six is booked." Regina was already headed in that direction. She kicked the door open and faltered when she discovered Emma lying on the floor by the bed. The sheets were a mess and it was obvious sex must have happened here. There were signs of a struggle, blood on the sheets and floor, especially near Emma.

"Wake up…I'm sorry…" She shook her gently. Emma groaned and stirred in response. She was in obvious pain. Regina had no time to wait for her to regain consciousness, so she lifted the woman into her arms and walked out of the room. She entered the main area again to see Ruby had managed to wake Granny with few difficulties.

"Is she okay?" Ruby asked.

"She's perfectly fine with bruises just randomly on her body," Regina responded dryly. Emma's eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Regina?" Emma said hoarsely. Her voice cracked.

"Save it for later. I'm bringing you to my home if that is fine with you."

"Why? I'm…fine…" She ignored this bit and magically transported them into her house. "Really, I just need some sleep." She laid her on the couch and made sure Henry was properly occupied. Then she swiftly tended to Emma's wounds and made sure she was comfortable before sitting down in a chair near where the woman currently lay.

"I really am sorry," she said again. "I didn't mean half of what I said on the phone earlier today. Why didn't you say something to me?"

"You didn't give me an opening," Emma said defensively. "And what was I supposed to say? Hook kidnapped me, pinned me to the bed, and-"

"I get it," Regina interrupted. "It's not an easy thing to talk about." There was an awkward pause between them. "About…the kiss…what is it supposed to mean?"

"To be honest, I didn't know what would happen. I thought it wouldn't work and we would be left alone, Henry and I. Now that you're back, we can't just ignore that _I_ was your true love's kiss."

"You do realize Tinker Bell put me up with Robin before you were even born. Pixie dust does not lie."

"Whatever happened to making your own destiny?!"

"I love Robin!"

"He loves someone else!"

"He loved me too!"

"Well it seems family wins out over sexual desires; I thought you would know that better than anyone. What about Henry?" The hurt in Regina's eyes was of a different nature this time. Emma shut her eyes and started to drift off to sleep.

"Let's assume you are right...then will there ever be happiness for me?"

"Of course, Regina; you deserve to be happy more than anyone." The tension had finally dissipated. Once Emma was asleep, Regina left the room to go tell Henry that his birth mother was safe, physically that is.

"Well well, behind bars is an interesting look for you," Zelena said as she approached Elsa. She eyed the woman, then the thermometer. **37.** "I thought you said that you could control your powers," she said in annoyance.

"You're not the only one who's good at lying," Elsa replied frostily. "You broke our deal."

"Oh boo hoo. I did you a favor keeping you from Rumplestiltskin." Elsa rolled her eyes at this. Ice had frozen over the entire jail cell. Zelena held back a shiver and tried to use some of her magic to warm up the place, all to no avail.

"What kind of magic is this anyways?"

"Who knows?" Elsa sighed. "What is your purpose in town anyways? You know it was unnecessary to try and enlist my help."

"I plan to trap Henry and capture him to get my dear sister's attention. All I have to do is get him alone. Since you have to remain here, I need another way to do that."

"You're smart. I'm sure you'll figure it out before it starts snowing, or worse."

"We've got to fix that as soon as my plans succeed," Zelena grumbled in irritation. Her gloved hands twitched. "I regret ever associating with you."

"Likewise," Elsa sneered. The Wicked Witch departed from the room, leaving the ice queen all on her own with her uncontrollable powers and bitter feelings. _She is so infuriating! Why do I keep talking to her?_ She sighed and tried to push Elsa out of her mind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

**Smut warning!**

Chapter 5

_She reached up for another kiss, followed by a few more and before she knew it they were tangled in one another—_

_Emma had more confidence than she did when it came to taking risks. She was all about control and concealing her emotions, well, she failed at that as Robin saw right through her every time. Emma kept up that huge wall that nobody could take down except…right now…_

_"__I love you," she whispered against her lips._

_"__I love you too."_

_They walked hand in hand down the street, with Henry racing ahead of them with those long legs of his. Emma whispered something that made Regina blush bright red before kissing her lightly on the cheek. Things were perfect. They were a family. She had never felt this way about anyone. Not Daniel, not Robin. She didn't want it to stop. She turned around and returned the kiss, with much more enthusiasm than she normally allowed in public._

_"__What was that, Regina?" Emma gasped in shock._

_"__That…was me showing how much I love you." To everyone else, it seemed cheesy, but for Emma it meant everything. It did for Regina, too._

"What the hell?" Regina gasped as she woke up. "Just a dream, it was just a dream," she whispered to herself as her cheeks turned bright red. Then she had a horrifying thought. _I wish it wasn't a dream. _"Stop being an idiot, no you don't." She sat up and went to go get a shower, hoping that the very, _very_ hot dream would be erased from her memory.

Emma rubbed her eyes and sat up. She groaned slightly as she registered the pain between her legs and the spots where Hook had gotten her with his namesake. "Damn you, Captain Hook," she mumbled. She heard a shower turn on and sighed. Regina was awake. There was no pretending anymore. What happened had happened, that was that. She didn't want to admit it, or put it into words, but if it were brought up by Regina she wouldn't say the event wasn't real. As for everyone else, she could simply say he accidentally got carried away. She felt like that would be the only believable story at this point. _Even if they believed you, who would care?_ Her sadistic mind whispered harshly. She shook it off and lurched to her feet. Acknowledging what happened wouldn't undo events or even fix them for that matter. It was better for everyone if she simply moved on with her life. She couldn't keep drawing attention to herself, or else he would keep coming after her. Emma didn't know what to do. Maybe she shouldn't do anything at all. Every move on the board felt wrong. Hook just stomped all over her carefully planned moves and claimed victory anyways. It took a lifetime's worth of effort to limp to the door and wrench it open, just as the shower turned off. She hobbled over the threshold and kept going. Regina would manage without her.

Where would she go, then? She couldn't go home; her parents had Neal to take care of. Henry was only her son by blood. She would send him back with Regina and restore everything to the normal it should be. Though it was colder in Storybrooke it should be, she was certain everybody in town would solve the problem and move on with their lives. She had no place here, not anymore. Her purpose had been served. The pain was nothing compares to how she actually felt: alone. She was used to it, but this time she actually noticed the empty ache in her chest and that sense of betrayal stealing her every gasp for oxygen. A few times, she nearly fell over due to not being able to walk normally, but she refused to be seen as someone who was weak enough to let a little roughness on her body take her down. Physically, she had gone through worse pain than this. Her mind was numb to what had happened. As far as she was concerned, it probably didn't happen.

"…since yesterday, I'm-" Belle was cut off as she noticed Emma limping down the street. "Mar Margaret, I see her!" she said suddenly, pointing across the road. She took David's hand and ran over to her daughter.

"Emma!" David called. The woman turned around and pursed her lips. Her face was unreadable. Those walls were up high again. "We've been looking for you? Where were you all night?"

"Regina took me home after lessons. You must've missed me." Why did she feel so bad for lying if it was so necessary right now? She couldn't afford to feel guilty, not when she knew what telling the truth would do. A feeling of helplessness sliced her chest so deep she expected to see blood spray all over her unnecessarily concerned parents. She shoved it down deep to fester with her confusion about Regina.

"If you're sure," David said uncertainly.

"David," Mary Margaret chided in a quiet voice. "Emma, honey, why don't we just go home, you look like you're in pain."

"You have a newborn son to take care of. I'll be fine."

"Oh right! Neal should be waking up soon. Let's go." The second they took off, Emma noticed Belle was watching her carefully. She wouldn't be as easy to shake off. All those books she read, she probably stumbled across what her limping meant at least once or twice.

"Do you need some help?" Belle asked.

"I'm fine, thanks." She needed to try a healing spell so she wouldn't have to appear so weak to everyone. "Don't worry about me. I've faced worse than some soreness from Regina's rough way of training." That was true. "I'll see you later?"

"We should meet up sometime," she smiled. Emma nodded and watched as she headed back into Gold's shop. Once she was gone, she focused on where the pain happened to be centered and placed a hand on her abdomen. It didn't take long to figure out how to cast the spell she needed, and soon she was walking off to the docks to sit by herself and prepare her departure from everyone else. She'd get another place, maybe, and soon enough they'd need a more competent sheriff. _Your usefulness is used up._ Regina didn't have to worry about her burdensome presence for much longer. She sat at the water's edge and stared blankly at her reflection that was interrupted by waves or a fish jumping out of water now and then. She let out a long sigh and tried not to think or feel anything at all. Thinking and feeling led to _his body roughly pressed against hers like he owned everything she was-_No. Thinking, feeling, and being anything were all dangerous. She shut down the memory before it could take over and allowed the water to hypnotize her.

Silver linings led to silver hooks, one in particular. Her palms kept stinging, and she couldn't figure out why until she looked down at her nails. Blood smeared her hands after wiping some it off on her flannel. The pain cleared her unwanted noise, and the blood calmed her crazy breathing. Something about it just made sense. She was worth something when destroying the evil of the world, but when prosperity came into the picture, she didn't exist. Unwanted tears stung her eyes. An involuntary sob escaped the walls she had put up. Now that she was alone, it all came crashing down. Another cry burst from her, followed by the familiar gush of tears. She hadn't cried since Neal-no, she couldn't think about him, either. Here, in danger of slipping into the water below, she released her cries of pain.

"Oh, you poor dear," Zelena said sweetly from behind her. Emma used her sleeve to wipe off her face. She got to her feet, her eyes hardening.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was just looking for Henry, and…I can't find him."

"What do you want with him?"

"That is not your business."

"You can't see him!" Emma said fiercely, her voice cracking. She cursed internally and hoped that went unnoticed.

"I didn't ask for your permission." Using her magic, she threw Emma into the water she had been desperate to escape into and walked away. Emma surfaced, coughing up water. She struggled to stay above the surface. The water was so cold. Her teeth chattered violently in her skull. She had to get out. She could freeze in minute. Ice started to form on the surface all around.

"H-Help," she choked out, even though she knew nobody could hear her. She discovered a ladder and climbed out. That ice witch, Elsa or whatever her name was must've caused this sudden winter in Storybrooke. As she tried to warm up without success, she headed for the city jail. Maybe she could get some answers on how to stop this winter. The shivering got worse. She needed to go home and get a change of clothes, but she didn't want to face her parents with puffy eyes and a general emptiness in her face. It wasn't until it began to snow that she gave up and ran into Granny's, feeling frozen from the inside out. She decided to simply stay here until it warmed up outside, if it ever did. She sat down in a booth, exhausted.

Regina had been searching for Emma ever since she noticed her disappearance. She had to wear even more layers today. Elsa was really getting out of control here, but she would worry about that later. Right now, her priority was Emma. She didn't trust her to be alone, especially after crushing the woman's spirits almost completely. Guilt swarmed inside her as she quickly walked down the street to keep as warm as possible. She hoped she wasn't too late on fixing things. She came to a halt when she saw Robin, Roland, and Marian head into Granny's. At the same time, she noticed Emma was in there. Her priorities torn in two, she stood outside the diner in total confliction.

_Pixie dust does not lie_

_I make my own destiny._

_Pixie dust does not…lie_

_Evil is made and so is good._

_Pixie dust does not…_

_"__You're not a villain. You're my mom."_

_Pixie dust does…_

_"__Today I am."_

_Pixie dust…_

Regina pushed the door open and walked right past Robin without looking at him. She sat in front of Emma, who had her head on her arms and seemed to be hardly breathing. She was soaking wet and freezing. She lifted the woman into her arms and magically transported them into her mansion. "Why are you such an idiot?" she sighed to the unresponsive blonde. She got Emma into some dry, warmer clothes and wrapped her up in several blankets on the couch. She hoped that Emma would stay asleep awhile, at least long enough for her to put her thoughts together. Just her luck, she was opening her eyes.

"Shit," Regina mumbled to herself. She turned away, wondering if she should have left Emma in the diner and talked to Robin instead about their current situation. No, this was the right thing to do. Wasn't it? Her heart felt split down the middle. She didn't know which half would make her happier. _Don't be ridiculous, you're not in love with Emma Swan. _It took her four or five shaky breaths before she found herself brave enough to look at her again.

"Why did you help me?" Emma questioned.

"Because I l-" she faltered and tried again. "Because I…learned…that I don't have to sit there and watch people suffer. It's just as bad as causing the suffering itself."

"That is very noble of you." Her cheeks warmed. _Don't think about the kiss, don't think about the kiss, don't! _"We should talk about the sleeping curse," Emma said. Regina wanted to melt into the floor.

"What about it?"

"I'm your _true_ _love's kiss_, Regina! We can't keep ignoring this!"

"You mean the way we're ignoring the way Hook just-"

"That's different!"

"No it's not!"

"Why don't you just _grow up?_" Emma was on her feet. A blast of magic sent Regina flying back against the wall. She fell to the floor, but instantly got up. Emma's anger was going to cause some serious magic in this house if she didn't calm down.

"You are the one throwing a tantrum. Take care to what you say, Miss Swan." She sighed with impatient contempt as Emma's hands slowly stopped their angry shaking. "I'm not ignoring the problem, exactly, I'm just moving on because this was a mistake. You should realize that too before you get hurt."

"I don't know who you're trying to convince with that transparent lie."

"It's the truth," Regina insisted. "Now sit down. You're trembling with cold again and you need to warm up, dear." Emma's cheeks heated up at the nickname. She would get the woman to wake up to this feeling eventually, even if it took the rest of her life. She smiled to herself at her new mission: get Regina to fall in love with her. _Do you love her only because she is helping you though? Maybe it's all a phase and you are just a selfish whore marked by a pirate._ She shook off the thoughts and shuddered. Marked by a pirate indeed. That was one thing she couldn't keep ignoring, healing spell aside. She didn't know where to begin. What happened was so beyond her comprehension, mentally and emotionally, that it felt easier to keep it all buried. It made her feel the one thing she swore would never happen: helplessness. The savior wasn't supposed to need saving. Yet something about Regina finding her in a vulnerable state twice in a row was starting to shift that idea. Something in those brown eyes that softened when they gazed upon her, and only her, displayed the love she had only just become aware of. Why was she still rejecting her? She jumped in after Robin with both feet and was totally blinded by him. Maybe that was the very reason she was staying away from the feeling this time, in which case Emma didn't blame her in the slightest. She would've done the same. _What if I'm wrong? What if she really does still love Robin? I could be fooling myself right now._ She had to stop this. If she wanted any hope of Regina revealing her true feelings, she had to find some semblance of confidence somewhere. The next thing she knew, Regina was pushing a cup of tea into her hands and forcing her to sit.

"Drink this. It'll help you relax," she whispered into the woman's hair.

"I know Tinkerbell said pixie dust doesn't lie, but…you should still decide for yourself," Emma said carefully. "You are your own person and shouldn't let yourself be tied to a silly destiny. Don't you know better than that?" This was the part where she should get offended and start up their fight again. There was hurt, but she didn't answer right away. Robin had looked right through her with his arm around his wife and his son in his lap. A family reunited; she had no place there. Shouldn't that be a sign she should just move on?

"Regina?"

"I don't know what to think," she admitted shamefully. "I thought Robin was a sure thing."

"You can't let go of that, can you?" Emma's gaze cut down all the way to her core, but this time she didn't want to run from it.

"Emma," she said quietly. "I don't want to do this right now."

"Okay," she said. And that was the end of that topic for the time being. "What's in this tea?"

"Mint; Henry's favorite." She did not smile. _You are a terrible mother._ It's not like she had much practice in that department after having stupidly given up Henry because she thought she wouldn't be good enough for him. Somehow it was still her fault she was in pain because of Henry's father. Neal being a hero in the end did not erase their past. She shook off those thoughts to prevent them from shifting into something unwanted.

"I'm sorry if I pushed too hard," Emma apologized after an unbearably awkward silence. "I just want all of…this…to be figured out." To her surprise, Regina smiled. "Regina? Why are you looking at me like that?" She stepped a bit closer. Emma shakily set down the tea cup.

_His dark eyes bore into hers and demanded respect she wasn't inclined to give, so he had to shove her further down and silence her even more than she thought possible. Do not speak; do not dare disagree with me, for I know you better than you know yourself. You will want to leave but it will not be possible. His body was inside of hers when she didn't even give him the hint of permission. They both knew that. He only cared about her not saying no anymore. She needed to escape this._

"Emma? Emma!" Regina was genuinely frightened. She had never seen her so vulnerable. Emma was curled up in a ball on the floor, whimpering and begging to be left alone. She must've done something to set her off.

"Please, please, please," Emma whispered over and over. Regina placed a cautious hand on her shoulder. The shaking stopped at once. She didn't have words, but she simply waited for Emma to return to her senses, not breaking contact.

"Thanks," the blonde whispered when she finally lifted her head to look at her. Regina nodded and withdrew her hand, which felt unnaturally warm despite the fact that Emma wasn't completely warmed up yet.

"What happened?"

"I don't know. I guess I was remembering the events from yesterday." Regina gave Emma her cup of tea again, even though it was getting cold. _The kiss happened; I can't avoid it much longer._ But what if Robin suddenly changes his mind? _I make my own destiny._ She wished things could be simpler.


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

**AN: No matter how strong a person is or claims to be, rape is a terrible crime involving the abuse of power, control, and violation of not just the body, but consent as well. I hope this helps some of you understand the direction my story plans to move in. Things are about to get much darker, and if it is too much for you to handle, you don't have to continue. For those of you who choose to remain, hang on, this ride will be bumpy at best. Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

Chapter 6

_Pain radiated from her small frame as he thrust himself against her. Unforgiving coward, he only had one hand! "This is what you get," he breathed heavily in her ear, "for refusing me. Nobody says no to me. You deserve this." Emma had no choice except to agree. Then he turned into Regina, much to her horror. _

_"__You're a terrible mother! You'll never see Henry again!" She blocked her son from view as he grew older by the second. Hook appeared in the room again with his shiny appendage. He thrust it into her chest and removed her heart. He glanced at Regina, who nodded emotionlessly. Everything went dark as he crushed it._

"NOOOOO!" Emma shrieked. That was the third time in a row that night she had woken up screaming. However, this was the first both Henry and Regina had come running in. Until then, Regina had avoided the problem. "No, please get away from me!" She wriggled her body to the edge of the bed in an effort to avoid Henry. "I don't deserve you!"

"What are you talking about?" Henry said.

"Shh. Go back to bed," Regina told him. He disappeared. She waited awkwardly for Emma to stop screaming nonsense before approaching the bed she had given up for her to be more comfortable.

"Regina, I'm fine," Emma said in protest when the woman didn't leave. "It was just a nightmare."

"Obviously there's something you need to get off your chest." Emma rapidly shook her head and pulled the blanket closer. Regina kept her distance, but kept on pushing the topic. "Stop lying to me, Emma."

"You need to stop this! I'm fine and I'll prove it to you!" She leapt off the bed and threw on her clothes. Before Regina could question her again, she took off into the night air, barely dressed for the snow that was swirling around her. She kept running and managed to locate Hook inside the inn. She attacked before he even noticed her presence, kicking him in the chest and sending him flying into the front desk. Granny and Ruby were nowhere to be seen, so she had to assume they were in bed. She focused on him again and ripped off his awful hook before throwing it aside. She was breathing heavily as he approached her. He was angry now.

"Oh you feel quite powerful now, since Regina took you under her wing to coddle you. Does she kiss your injuries?" Emma twisted back his handless arm until he groaned out in pain. "I'll take that as a yes. Do you enjoy being babied, Emma? You're not much of a savior now, are you?" She punched him in the gut, silencing him temporarily. Someone pulled her away from the scene before she could do anything else.

"You're just being stupid now," Regina said, tugging her hand and leading her outside. "Leave it alone."

"The last thing I need is for you to see me as weak," Emma huffed.

"I do not…"

"I'm already a terrible mother, at least leave me my dignity," Emma continued painfully. "It was a mistake for me to stay here as long as I have."

"Okay now you're being worse than stupid!" Regina said hotly. "When will you stop punishing me for what I said?"

"Who said I was _punishing_ you?"

"I said I was sorry!"

"Well I'm still hurt over here! Okay? I did the best I could with Henry all this time since coming to this town and you decided to tell me it wasn't good enough!"

"I thought you willingly took your clothes off for him," Regina whispered, "if I had known…" Emma's eyes hardened at this.

"Then what? What? I would suddenly be the best mother alive? We both know that isn't true."

"I'm not sure what Henry has to do with you being r-"

"Don't say the word! Please!"

"Can't you just forgive me?"

"I'm trying!" Emma wiped away snow from her face and neck as her exhausted frame started shaking. "You're not making it easy!" With Regina, things were never easy. But, if it were easy, she probably wouldn't be nearly as interested in pursuing whatever was between them from the start.

"Like I was saying, I thought you were a willing participant in the equation."

"Whatever made you think I was interested in Hook?" She was genuinely curious; thinking all her body language and disgusted looks had screamed 'No' from the rooftops of town.

"I…thought he convinced you into a one night stand. That's all." Realizing how wrong she was made Regina feel extremely off balance and vulnerable. She could only imagine what was going through Emma's mind.

"Don't get lost in that kind of thinking." Emma's voice didn't sound like it belonged to her anymore. It was tight and strained; poorly masking the endless tears that wanted to be released. "No matter what, I need you on my side. Do you understand?" Did Emma just say she needed her? Nobody needed her. Sometimes not even Henry needed her. He was growing up, after all. Her own son was becoming more independent the moment she wanted to cling to him like he was an infant forever. If she had learned anything recently it was the fact that she was terrified of waking up alone.

"Regina? Are you okay?" The look in Emma's eyes showed enough emotion to scare her into hiding what she was thinking again.

"Yes, I'm fine," she lied. She couldn't even convince herself this time. She wondered if that meant anything before shaking off the notion along with the snow gathering in her hair. "We'll talk more about this tomorrow, but for now we need to get home and check on Henry. We left him at the house by himself." Before Regina could take a step, she noticed a familiar head of red hair across the snowy street dragging a struggling boy after her.

"I think I found him," Emma said. The mayor shot her a look before trudging through the small piles of snow to reach her half sister Zelena.

"Oops," Zelena said before dropping him to the ground. Henry scrambled to his feet and ran over to his mothers. Regina held her son tightly against her chest and glared at the Wicked Witch of the West.

"Why did you take my son? How did you escape? How are you even alive?"

"So many questions from you," Zelena laughed. "I only wanted to get your attention, sis. Now that you're here…"

"We need to get Elsa to stop this winter," Emma interrupted. "I think there are more important concerns than simple sibling rivalry."

"I'm in charge here!" Zelena said angrily. A blast of magic sent Emma sprawling to the ground, but the woman soon got to her feet, prepared to attack. Henry watched the scene in shocked silence. "Since Rumplestiltskin was so rude and tried to kill me when I was defenseless, I decided nobody wants to give me a second chance after all! I mean why would anyone want to try with me?"

"You're my sister, that's why," Regina said softly. "Everyone deserves another chance, especially family." That answer startled them both. There was an awkward pause as the snow began to fall faster. Zelena appeared to be thinking things over.

"Why should I trust you?" she demanded. Her eyes flared with fresh irritability.

"I'm not going to force you to trust me. That would be pointless and frustrating. We are more alike than you think. No, like before when you were in jail, I'm going to give you a choice." Everyone was exhausted. Regina could sense that Henry kept dozing off against her. She heard Emma's quiet yawns behind her. They needed to end this exchange soon, before Regina started to get dizzy from a lack of energy.

"This better not be a trick," Zelena spoke up at last. She vanished in a cloud of green smoke.

"Do you really think she'll change?" Henry asked as they trudged through the snow.

"We'll have to find out," was Regina's only reply. She glanced over at Emma, who was falling behind. She approached her.

"Hey," she said breathlessly.

"Hey," Emma said.

"You okay?"

"I think so."

"Then keep up." As Regina entered her house with Henry, Emma wiped away tears that were beginning to freeze on her cheeks.


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

**AN: Sorry for disappearing on you! I kind of distanced myself from the fandom and considered giving up on this fanfic. But I've been slightly more inspired lately, so let's see where this goes.**

_"__Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost."- Idina Menzel (Defying Gravity)_

Chapter 7

Zelena approached Elsa's cell. Ice was everywhere. Elsa sat on the bed, her white hair hanging in her face. Everything was frozen over. This had to stop, and soon, before everyone froze to death. She had to figure out the secret to this stranger's powers before it was too late. She sat in a chair and observed her for a moment before speaking.

"How does this work exactly, those ice powers of yours?" Zelena asked with genuine curiosity.

"If I knew the answer to that, I would've found a way to stop it by now," Elsa replied softly. "When I was a child, I was told fear would be my enemy." Zelena looked around. Was she afraid?

"Alright, I think it has to do with emotions. There has to be some good times in your life to melt all this ice and frozen wasteland."

"You think it's going to be that easy, huh?" Elsa laughed. "It would be so much easier to just kill me at this point."

"No!" Zelena said as she pulled that pouting face of hers. "You've got a lot to learn if you're going around assuming I do everything the _easy _way." Elsa looked at her for a long minute.

"My sister Anna was my whole world, but I froze her on accident when we were kids. From then on, my parents told me to hide my powers and stay away from everyone so I could learn to control myself." Zelena raised an eyebrow.

"That's it? Really?" She gazed at the ice queen with suspicious eyes. "We'll make a powerful sorceress out of you in no time." Elsa wrapped her hands around the bars of the already frozen cell. She was doubtful about this new plan. It was so much easier to let her powers run wild than to rein them in.

"Think about a time you were extraordinarily happy," Zelena continued in a pleasant tone. "In your long, miserable life, what moment made you forget everything?"

"Building a snowman with my sister when we were kids," Elsa replied. "I don't understand, how is this supposed to help me?" Zelena grabbed one of her hands. It was so cold and she wanted to make it warm again.

"Trust me, and focus."

_Elsa?_

_Do you want to build a snowman?  
Come on let's go and play!  
I never see you anymore,  
Come out the door,  
It's like you've gone away!_

_We used to be best buddies,  
And now we're not  
I wish you would tell me why!  
Do you want to build a snowman?  
It doesn't have to be a snowman!_

_Go away, Anna!  
Okay, bye_

_Do you want to build a snowman?  
Or ride our bike around the halls?  
I think some company is overdue  
I've started talking to the pictures on the walls!_

_Hang in there, Joan!_

_It gets a little lonely  
All these empty rooms  
Just watching the hours tick by!_

_Elsa?_

_Please, I know you're in there  
People are asking where you've been  
They say have courage, and I'm trying to  
I'm right out here for you, just let me in  
We only have each other, it's just you and me  
What are we gonna do?  
Do you want to build a snowman?_

"No, I can't," Elsa said anxiously. Ice crept towards Zelena at a rapid pace. "I don't want to hurt anyone, please just go!"

"Don't be so childish! Just concentrate on the memory and-"

"I nearly killed my sister when we were just playing! Don't you understand? I'm dangerous!"

"Only if you believe you-"

_"__Stop!"_ A blast of ice struck Zelena's heart. She fell to the floor. Elsa stared in shock at what she had done.

Outside, Regina was shivering as she walked around and made her rounds as mayor of this town. Her mind couldn't escape the mystery that was Emma Swan. The shock of blonde hair and lost eyes held her to the spot whenever she thought of them. She didn't know what to do. Tink would be angry that she was throwing away her true love for Henry's birth mother. Is all that she was to her, even after everything they've shared?

_You should be grateful she saved you from a destiny that you never chose._

"I make my own destiny…" She turned and headed to where Tinkerbell happened to be staying. Then she saw a familiar flash of blue and white skid across patches of ice and block her path. Elsa stumbled to a halt.

"Regina! I need you to help me! I froze Zelena's heart!"

"How am I supposed to help with that?"

"Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart." Regina felt her heart skip a few beats when she heard that.

"Look, I see what you're doing here," Regina said slowly. "But I am not all that close to my sister. You're the one who's spent all this time with her. If you have the power to freeze her, then you can easily melt her again." Elsa shook her head.

"I don't know how…"

"Of course you do, don't be ridiculous. Stop being so afraid of yourself, and start appreciating your talent! Look around this place! You created a frozen wasteland of my town with no effort!" Elsa glanced around at all the snow and ice on the ground. She sighed and brushed back her white hair.

Emma woke up breathing heavily. She could've sworn she felt Hook's chest hair tangling with the necklace she had worn that day. She coughed, still smelling his sweat all over the room. Tears stung her eyes as she tried to return to reality. "Just a dream…it was just a bad dream…" Where was Regina?

"Regina?" she whispered breathlessly. The last shred of sanity in her life was nowhere to be found. She couldn't find the will to breathe normally again. _I fucking need you so where are you?_ She gripped the sheets for all it was worth and shut her eyes. That awful scent was choking off what little air she had left.

"Hello, Miss Swan. I hope you learned what I had to teach you the other day in the motel."

"You're not real. Go away." Emma nearly choked on her words. When he didn't move, she forced herself to sit up and face the man who had assaulted her recently.

_You're not much of a savior now, are you?_

He covered her mouth not with his hand, but that awful silver hook of his. Emma struggled against him. "My dear, this is how it's supposed to be. I gave up The Jolly Roger for you. You've kissed me a few times." She threw her knee up and hit him straight in the groin. He released her in his momentary distraction.

"I decide how my life is supposed to be," she said unsteadily. "I'm…the savior…" She shoved him off the bed. "Nobody tells me what my life should be." She concentrated on her anger and sent him flying into the wall. He fell to the floor with a sickening thud. She thought she heard a snap. "Oh no!" she whispered. "Did I kill him?" She approached his limp body and felt for a pulse. He was still alive, but his neck was broken. She dragged his body out of the room and hoped someone would take him to a hospital. Emma knew she was no killer, no matter what the situation was. She finally pushed him out onto the driveway outside. Either someone would find him or he'd freeze to death.

Regina was heading back to check on Emma when she located Hook's body in the driveway struggling to breathe, paralyzed due to a broken neck. He was slowly getting colder. She spit on him, kicked him in the side and kept on walking. She saw Emma inside with a bottle of her perfume, spraying as much of the house as she could. Henry was standing off to the side and coughing at the strong smell. Regina took the bottle from Emma.

"Stop, it's over. He'll die out there."

"Regina!" Emma choked out. "You're here!"

"Of course I am, this is where I live," she said. She stumbled back when Emma tackled her with a hug. She didn't know what to do. Should she hug back? Should she hold her?

"Miss Swan," Regina said in her mayor voice. "Please get yourself off of me." Emma only held on tighter. She felt her cheeks turn warm at all the contact. The scent of vanilla was stronger than her perfume could ever hope to be. She cautiously wrapped her arms around the sheriff. She wouldn't melt from a simple hug, not on the outside anyways. No matter what happened, that infuriating blonde-haired woman who took a chainsaw to her tree wasn't going away. Maybe this time she would let her stay.

"Emma, do you want to stay here with Henry and I?"

"You would do that for me?"

"Yes. Now can you make a decision before I change my mind?"

"Yeah, yeah of course I'll stay."

"Does this mean I have two moms now?" Henry asked. Regina shot him a look. Emma couldn't help but laugh at this.

"Henry, why don't you go get some breakfast? It's still early." Emma waited until Henry was gone before speaking again. "He has a point. What are we to each other now? Friends?"

"Friends," Regina allowed breathlessly. "Just…friends…" It wasn't enough. Nothing was never enough. But she had to start somewhere.


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: Super big trigger warning due to sensitive content. **

Chapter 8

Zelena's hair was turning white. She kept shivering even though Elsa was figuring out how to thaw some of the winter in the jailhouse. Things were awkward between them. It felt like an eternity had gone by when in reality it had only been a few hours.

"You should be freed, not in a cage like that," Zelena said quietly. She unlocked the door with a spell and let Elsa out.

"Thank you," Elsa said. "I wish I knew a way to unfreeze your heart."

"If you really care about me, you'll find a way." Elsa was surprised to hear this. She didn't remember the last time she had thought about how she could feel about someone else. She hardly knew Zelena. She watched the woman curiously as the room got warmer but she continued to get colder.

"An act of true love…I'm starting to think my heart isn't the one that's frozen here," Zelena said dryly.

"I'm not used to letting people in!" Elsa exclaimed. "I spent thirteen years of my life keeping people out! I can't just…snap out of the habit just like that." Zelena struggled to her feet and shuddered again at how cold she felt.

"You have to try, or else Regina will be without a sister. You don't want to be the one to have murdered me, do you?" Elsa shook her head and tried her best to focus. Regina would kill her if she didn't fix this soon. She remembered Anna had completely frozen over in just a few hours or so after she had struck her. She didn't have a whole lot of time before it was too late for Zelena. Elsa shut her eyes and concentrated on the worry that was building up. She did care about the witch, even if she was a bit troubled. She supposed that they had some things in common.

"You've never been loved, have you?" she asked finally. Zelena was startled by the unexpected comment.

"Why is that any of your business?"

"You've never known love, but you're the one giving me advice on it. Why? Who am I to you, Zelena?"

"I hope my hero," Zelena responded awkwardly. Her cheeks were flushed a bright red. She was hiding something. Elsa took her ice cold hand and rubbed it gently to warm it up a little. Zelena pulled away in agitation and embarrassment. "I'm…sorry. That felt nice. Don't stop." She grabbed the woman's hand again and resumed warming it up in silence. They were slowly growing more comfortable around one another. "Don't tell anyone about this," the witch added in warning. Elsa was quick to agree with that order.

_"__Morning, darling," Emma giggled before giving Regina a kiss. "Do you know what today is?" She waited excitedly for Regina's reply. She was so attractive when she had on her thinking face. Hell, she was attractive all the time._

_"__Oh, let me think for a minute," Regina teased. "Henry already had his birthday almost six months ago, that can't be right. Your birthday isn't until a few weeks from now. I wonder, I wonder! What could today be?" Emma kissed her again and smirked._

_"__Happy anniversary, Regina," she whispered in her wife's ear. "I have something…special…planned." She kissed her neck roughly. A fresh bruise began to form after a few minutes. She wasn't normally this bold. "Come on, it's been almost a year since it happened, I'm ready this time. I swear."_

_"__If you insist, Miss Swan." It should be impossible that their bodies fit together so nicely, that their scents mixed together better than any combination of candles could in comparison. It shouldn't be right that her lips felt rough yet smooth, that her hands were strong yet gentle. They were so complicated that it could be simplified all to one answer: true love. They were truly in love with one another. Now, connected through love, magic and sex, it was hard to say where she ended and where her partner began._

_"__Oh god…Emma," Regina breathed. "Emma!"She ran her tongue down Regina's neck and smiled in pleasure as she heard soft moans in response._

_"__You like that? I've got plenty more where that came from."_

"Emma!" She was woken up by a furious yet anxious Regina. She forced herself to forget about the dream and got off the couch. It was time to face reality again.

"What?" Emma said tiredly. She hated reality already. She wanted to sleep and live out her dreams, literally, for just a while longer. This was unlike her and she didn't know when that had changed.

"Hook's gone missing!"

"That's impossible. Why would someone help him, of all people?"

"Maybe that's the thing. No one _is_ helping him. So how would he get away on his own with a broken neck, paralyzed from the collarbone down and half frozen to death?"

"I have no idea," Emma said quietly. She nervously waited for Regina to say something else, or worse, start blaming her for all this. _Why would that be such a shock? All of this is your fault anyways._

"He might've blackmailed Gold into healing him," Regina mused, thinking out loud. "But why would Gold be in our driveway?"

"Gold doesn't need a reason for anything," Emma replied. Maybe that answer was good enough.

"True," Regina agreed. "We need to find him and put him behind bars."

"W-we?"

"Meaning Mr. Gold and I. You don't have to get near that monster ever again. I'll rip off his other hand before he can even think about touching you."

"You're so protective, it's sweet," Emma said with a slight smile. Her emotions were forced. She didn't have to try anymore, but she did anyways.

"Shut up, don't get used to it," Regina replied. There was an intensely awkward silence as they glanced at one another several times in a row and rapidly tried to find something else in the room vastly more interesting. _Those eyes, those lips-_

"Can you stay here and behave while I check on this with Mr. Gold?" she heard her ask, breaking her train of thought once again. Emma silently curled her fingers so her nails would dig into the flesh of her palm. The frustration was only getting worse. Was she losing her mind; how dare she think of the _Mayor_ in this hungry fashion? She couldn't force out anything more other than a tight nod and a grim, ironic smile to follow. As she watched her leave, the scent of apples from her dream overwhelmed her. She had to hold back tears. Even if she could permit herself to feel anything for the perfect, _amazing_ Regina Mills, the woman deserved someone far better than Captain Hook's plaything.

She paced the room until she felt dizzy. When that didn't clear her head, she sat on the couch for a long time and struggled to piece her mind together. All she could feel was him pinning her to the bed and taking advantage of how damn weak she was. She was so useless, dried up, and abandoned. Her time was up. At that thought, everything spiraled into dangerous clarity. That was the solution then. No one could argue with this. Emma shuffled into Regina's bathroom and found a few bottles of sleeping pills. She took seven from each and piled them on the bed. It didn't take long to find the stash of apple cider. At least she would get a taste of love before closing her exhausted mind to the flashbacks forever. One glass would be enough to wash them all down.

After the twelfth pill, she was starting to have ill effects. This must be strong stuff if it wasn't taking that much to make her feel dizzy and weak. Once she took the entire pile on the bed, she had to go get more. It took an eternity to convince her aching body to move. Emma unsteadily headed for the bathroom, the half full glass of apple cider in her hand. She had no idea how much time had passed since she took the first dozen pills, probably an hour or two. Time was too confusing of a concept for her pounding head.

"Mom?" Henry asked. He had been in his room reading comics all day. "Are you okay?" That was the last thing she remembered before she fell to the floor.


End file.
